Since I made the decision to live my life on the Internet, it’s become somewhat of a tradition for me to blog about my birthday (see last year’s). As someone obsessed with and terrified of getting old, it’s a way to grief the aging process and reconcile new facial lines and experiences I’ve somehow forgotten to have along the way. It’s, of course, also a way to celebrate myself and take a hot minute to acknowledge how much I’ve matured, where I have room to grow, and just how little I’ve made flossing a priority for yet another year.
When I was writing on Terrible Twenties, I used to cathartically close out one year, and start anew, with…a blog. Ok, perhaps it was less of a blog and more like a meaty listicle with the same number of items as the age I’d just exited. I’d sit down and list all the things I’d learned in the previous year and then share it out into the ether of the Internet for some other person to nod their head and relate “so hard.”
This year, because I’m not writing on Terrible Twenties, I want to do something a little differently. Let’s try looking forward instead of back. So, instead of telling you 32 things I learned at 32, I’m going to flip it and share 33 things I’m going to try and do at 33.
- Find the balance between YOLO and GET A GRIP.
- Never say “YOLO” aloud.
- Consider Botox, but definitely not get it.
- Buy. Less. Shoes.
- Choose 2-3 meaningful places to donate my time and money with regularity.
- Watch a whole season of a TV show without any other distraction.
- Always have a book I’m actually reading, and not just an intellectual prop.
- Stop wondering how creative I would be had I gone to a small liberal arts college.
- Use one of the three mediation apps on my phone with mild consistently.
- Experiment with bolder eyeshadow.
- Book more spontaneous overnight trips and don’t worry the cats will hate me.
- Take classes in graphic design, photography, and screenwriting.
- Buy See’s chocolates every time I pass a store.
- Stop double booking plans.
- Finally, remember to download the Bravo app.
- Light more candles.
- Try a bath bomb.
- Don’t Instagram any part of taking a bath.
- Go camping to please my husband.
- Instagram every part of camping to annoy my husband.
- Come to terms that I am not too young to have a baby even though I am 26 in my head.
- Order more micheladas and coffee with oat milk.
- Get around to printing my wedding photos.
- Remember that face masks won’t solve anything.
- Seek out constructive criticism from mentors.
- Go see the Magic Mike show in Vegas.
- Stop making excuses to get on more planes.
- Let a cleaning professional come more often.
- Learn how to cook more than five dishes.
- Wear more skirts and dresses.
- Stop being put out by family obligations. It’s unbecoming and immature.
- Remember to wear perfume.
- For the love of god…floss more.